Family Friday: Key #3 – No Word Daggers

While this “Key” could be generalized to all people… I believe that it is most effective and pertinent to the family.

Our families are the entity that we expect to support us and know us best. Therefore, they are the ones who hold the most power to hurt us. And while we may say that we never want to hurt someone in our family, the reality is that it will happen. We do, however, have control over whether or not the hurt we cause is intentional harm or unintentional harm.

I don’t know about you… but to me, the  unintentional harm hurts a lot less. In other words, those moments that you feel let down, neglected, misunderstood, forgotten, etc. because of an honest mistake.

One area that I find holds such power for destruction is our words. Our words can build up and our words can destroy others. What comes out of our mouth can make the difference between peace and turmoil. Words are always a choice. No one forces words out of your mouth. Thoughts and feelings always precede words. Of course, in the heat of the moment, it is much more difficult to control what comes out of our mouth. Therefore, we need to practice controlling our thoughts and feelings that help dictate our words. Just because you think something or feel something, it does not mean you need to express it… especially if expressing it will be harmful or cause damage.

All of this information feeds into and supports the “Key to Life” I am sharing with you today… which is never using “Word Daggers.”

A dagger is a short weapon that is used in close combat that is meant to penetrate quickly and swiftly to inflict a serious wound.

Does that description match the characteristic of the way to speak to your spouse? children? parents?

Ouch.

I am convicted. Are you? What are some examples of “Word Daggers?”

  • Name calling
  • Direct OR indirect put-downs
  • Cursing
  • Guilt tripping
  • Nagging
  • Belittling (causing someone to feel inferior, stupid, insignificant, or a failure)
  • Pushing buttons
  • Bringing up past failures or issues
  • Exploiting weakness
  • Threatening
  • Silent treatment (so no words can even be a weapon!)
  • Talking poorly about your loved one to others
  • Anything you know will cause someone to feel defeated and hurt

We do not have to resort to word violence. We do not have to tear each other down. There is no legitimate excuse to hurt someone. If you go into a fight knowing that someone is likely to injure you, the chances of that fight producing a positive result go way down.  If this is a pattern you have gotten yourself into, it will take time to stop… but it is possible to stop and the real life results from putting down your “Word Daggers” will result in richer, healthier, and more stable relationships.

If you would like to learn how to gain control in this area of your life, email me at JillianRedefiningWellness@gmail.com and we can start your process to grasp and use this “Key to Life!”

Please leave your comments below if you can relate to this as a giver or receiver – OR – feel free to ask any questions you have.

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